A few parameters must be satisfied for a stable romantic relationship to exist. First, two people must be involved. Second, both must have the resources to satisfy one another, namely time. Third, both must be on the same ‘page’. The first two parameters will be tackled in future Deep Dives. Today, we will be looking at what exactly the ‘page’ is and what it entails.
Being on the same ‘page’ can be defined as two individuals that have similar reciprocal feelings for one another. They relatively have the same meaning for their love whether it be physical, intellectual, emotional or a mix of the three. Two people can’t ever agree to be on the same page, it is a naturally occurring phenomenon.
The base case would be unrequited love. One loves the other from the distance, while the person of affection does not return them, or more commonly, is unaware of the formers feelings. In this case we have no relationship, no connection. Let’s take a look at other situations and the ramifications of not being on the same page.
When two people agree to be friends with benefits they are agreeing to a purely physical and intellectual relationship. Once emotions start getting involved for a single party, it’s when someone gets hurt. Dissonance occurs when a completely carnal exercise cannot fulfill the void of love.
A boyfriend and girlfriend on the other hand have the understanding of a predominantly emotional relationship. If that aspect of it were to be diminished it can lead to dysfunction. If there is a shift to the intellectual then sometimes the couple will decide to be just friends. A shift to a physical relationship can create distance, which leads to separation.
Two best friends showcase an intellectual love for one another. If either of the other two gets involved emotionally or physically then that relationship dissolves, as one will be unhappy with the platonic state of things. As we examine different cases and states of a relation we start to see how being on the same page is important to the delicate their delicate balance.
Looking at the Hazuki and Rokka we can see how they aren’t on the same page. Hazuki wants love. Rokka wants to be distracted and find a vehicle to move on. They have disconnected motives that will lead to a rocky road regardless of an apparition being involved.
But why is being on the same page a ‘naturally occurring phenomenon’? The simple answer is saying relationships are based on mutual understanding. A relationship that works does not need to spell out everything.
The more difficult answer is proving through example and negation. Much like our main character I became involved with a girl that I was crazy about. I found out early on that I was the rebound. In my head I knew the rebound never lasted, you were just the guy that fixed the broken soul so she could move back out into the world.
Still I trekked on driven by the noble desire to fight. I could overcome this no? She denoted clearly to me that we needed to take it slow. She wasn’t quite ready for deep involvement. She wanted something light and fluffy, much like the Frappachinos she ordered every morning. Mocha chip with extra whip.
I agreed and told her I wasn’t going to get confused. That only lasted for about a few weeks before I became a full on boyfriend. I bought every meal, took her home after every late night, I texted, I doted, and I even came over when she got sick. Eventually she pushed away, even though every time I said I knew she wanted to take it slow.
My actions said otherwise. In retrospect I can explain it very plainly. When two people are on different pages, when their emotions are stationed in different planes, there is a drive to bring them closer together. The difference creates a vacuum that one pushes to fill whether consciously or unconsciously.
No matter how many times you verbally say it, it doesn’t make it true. Emotions can’t be helped. You feel what you feel.
Hazuki is at such a point. He’s pushing and Rokka might just fall off the edge and disappear. It’s important to keep in mind that her emotions aren’t completely clear, and only time will tell if she does want to reach the point Hazuki is at.
It’s the bit of hope I can offer to you the reader. Sometimes the stars don’t have to be aligned; sometimes both parties just have to wish that they eventually would be. The pushing becomes an arm outreached that gently pulls the other up. That’s what our hero needs to do, find a place that both of them can go.