A Matter of Trust: Sukitte Ii Na Yo – Episode 3

Welcome to our first deep dive of the fall season. I am really glad that this show isn’t just another action show I am blogging for this season, as it does have a lot of meat to bite into. In this post we’ll be exploring the nature of Yamato’s and Mei’s relationship and how trust isn’t directly¬†correlated to identification or understanding. Before we begin to explore this topic, lets take a look at the arc that their relationship takes.

Mei still has a hard time trusting the people around. Yamato is a fresh and new experience for her, thus her being apprehensive is understandable. When Aiko asks her if she likes Yamato, her answer is “Probably”. This might seem odd considering how obvious her emotions are for him. But considering her past, she is just guarding herself from being hurt. This stance justified a few moments later into the episode when Aiko tells her she had sex with Yamato.

Mei’s fears materialize in that instance. She is just another notch in her new boyfriend’s belt. He had sex with a girl he never dated, and kissed almost all the girls in the school. How serious could he be about her. As the episode continues, Mei comes to learn that Yamato has his reservations about the nature of people in general. He identifies his own selfish behavior, ignoring one of his closest friends when they become the target of bullying at school. The person he has grown to become is a direct response to his cowardice as a middle schooler and how he’s still trying to cope with the mistake he made.

For Mei this a point of identification. Yamato isn’t really that different from her. She begins to uncover who he is as a person, through his story. As she holds his hand at the end of the episode, she confesses to herself that she feels much more comfortable holding his hand. It might be hard for her to admit, but she is growing to trust the boy next to her.

Honestly this is a very ideal situation and it is easy to conclude from the narrative that trust is a direct function of grasping another’s character. This is not the case. Learning what makes a person tick, can sometimes lead to skepticism instead of the opposite.

Let’s take for example that whenever you invite a friend over, you always lose about ten dollars from your wallet. You grow to distrust that friend and eventually stop inviting him over and confront him about the situation. Your friend has now been put into a lose-lose situation. Say that he denies the fact that he stole your money, your distrust will stay relatively the same. Say if he admits his crime, the it will most likely increase.

The common counter argument could be that he gives you reason about why he is stealing the money. One reason he can give you is that he is quite poor and needs to help feed is twenty brothers and sisters and ailing mother. It’s an understandable position, but my question to you is that would that make you trust him more? My personal stance would be, no. He is a type of person that would take advantage of others to advance his own position. He could have gotten a part time job rather than stealing from his friends. It’s a human reaction. Trust can be easy to gain, but mistrust is a hard stigma to shake off.

How do we apply this to romantic relationships? If you find out that your partner is cheating on you, learning the reasons behind it might help ease your pain, but doesn’t fill the void that has been created between you and your partner. He says that he was really drunk one night, that she was in a vulnerable emotional position, or he was just really angry at you. The logic is completely understandable no matter what the excuse, but it changes the dynamic of the relationship.

So what does this mean for Mei and Yamato? Every week Mei seems to learn something new about him that she doesn’t like. What will be the tipping point that sends this relationship to place it can never return from…

3 thoughts on “A Matter of Trust: Sukitte Ii Na Yo – Episode 3

  1. I think a big point about Mei’s perception about Yamato is what she has seen him do. She hasn’t seen him kissing other girls (this could possibly be a rumor because even Yamato commented on it sounding bad), and she hasn’t seen him cheating *cough* having sex *cough* on her with somebody else. In this episode, he gave some justification for why he chose her, and not somebody else, and that continues to make her feel special, which she yearned for in episode 2. I don’t see this pair breaking up, although there will probably be problems later on.

  2. I kind of think that some of Mei’s confusion about the whole situation is that she hears so many things about Yamato from so many sources, and she has no network of friends that she can trust to vet the information. So she believes it all, but then Yamato acts somewhat differently around her. And because she doesn’t have any experience with friends, much less with guys, she doesn’t really understand what different things mean. She doesn’t know the difference between sex with Aiko as a mistake, or as a pity, or as a girlfriend.

    And I think a huge part of the show is going to be, as we’ve seen, the other people who want to be with Yamato. How will he deal with them? So far he really hasn’t dealt with any of them when Mei has been there, except for the talent scout. What will he do if Aiko is bold enough to come up when he’s out with Mei and say “I love you, I’m better than her, you should be with me”? Or if a whole group of girls did that? Or even when Mei’s not there, what would he do now if Aiko tried the same thing as before: “If you think I’m pretty, sleep with me.”? Mei has a HUGE trust issue. How much will Yamato respect that and work to build her trust?

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